FUNNY LEAVE LETTERS

 FUNNY LEAVE LETTERS

This is a collection of leave letters and applications written by people in various places of India ...

1. Infosys, Bangalore : An employee applied for leave as follows:
Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave.

2. This is from Oracle Bangalore:
>From an employee  who was performing the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son: "as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."

3. Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."

4. From H.A.L. Administration dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave."

5. Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave"

6. An incident of a leave letter
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday."

7. A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today"

8. Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."

9. Covering note: "I am enclosed herewith..."

10. Another one:
"Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below..."

11. Actual letter written for application of leave:
"My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave".

12. Letter writing: -
"I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well."


13. A candidate's job application:
"This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ' Typist and an Accountant - Male or Female'...As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying  for the post.

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Polish Humour

Polish Humour
[Tricky one - concentrate to understand this joke]

A Polish (citizen of Poland country) man moved to the USA and married an American girl.

Although his English was very worst, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer’s office and asked him if he could could arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

Have you any grounds?
- Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.

No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?
- It made of concrete.

I don’t think you understand. Do either of you have a real grudge?
- No, we have carport, and not need one.

I mean. What are your relation is like?
- All my relations still in Poland.

Is there any infidelity in your marriage?
- We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.

Does your wife beat you up?
- No, I am always up before her.

Is your wife a nagger?
- No, she white.

Why do you want this divorce?
- She going to kill me.

What makes you think that?
- I got proof.

What kind of proof?
- She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say: “Polish Remover”.

 

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